I go to school
for 3 hours
its a program
I get to graduate from my old high school
but less stress
and college classes too
at the community college
I'm away from the poison of high school
I dance
Now that my legs and back are better
I can run
and walk in the cold
Last winter I even ice skated.
I teach dance to little girls
I love it
Theres a guy too
but he doesn't know I exist
the girl in my class who's tall and probably a size zero
SHE EATS EVERYTHING -___-
like chips and soda
she has flawless skin
and I'm like the imperfect dork
I'm taking a break from therapy
my little sister hasn't been on suicide watch
in a year
Sunday, September 28, 2014
It's been forever
Whoa I guess it's been like a million years since I've posted anything. Like years. I'm a senior now and I've switched school 3 times.
I've learned that theres very few kind people out there.
The boy who I fell in love with and had a relationship to this day will not speak to me since I ran.
I still had the perfect first kiss in the world (in my opinion).
I've been with a couple different guys. So far nothing great but hey I'm just a kid.
My mom and I still don't get along perfectly. It's gotten better with therapy. I still don't see a lot of my dad and when I do it's weird and uncomfortable, he'll never understand me and I've accepted that. During the last two years my body broke down so much from my eating disorder that it hurt to walk so bad I cried, I had to stop dancing. My heart almost stopped, my stomach could had ended up perminately portruded and swollen (it still swells sometimes), I have been perminately weakened. Forced recovery hyped my anxiety, I'm on medication. It's hard for me to walk into a crowded mall, I panic which may seem a little crazy to you guys but i feel like everyone is always starring at me and all the lights and maniquens and just everything is too much for me. Soooooooooooooooooo yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa OH! Diet! Gluten free, Dairy free and very little meat. I eat mostly vegetables, egg whites, fruit that kind of stuff but I haven't purged in a long time. I'm afraid they'll send me back into treatment. And God knows THAT. WAS. HELL.
I've learned that theres very few kind people out there.
The boy who I fell in love with and had a relationship to this day will not speak to me since I ran.
I still had the perfect first kiss in the world (in my opinion).
I've been with a couple different guys. So far nothing great but hey I'm just a kid.
My mom and I still don't get along perfectly. It's gotten better with therapy. I still don't see a lot of my dad and when I do it's weird and uncomfortable, he'll never understand me and I've accepted that. During the last two years my body broke down so much from my eating disorder that it hurt to walk so bad I cried, I had to stop dancing. My heart almost stopped, my stomach could had ended up perminately portruded and swollen (it still swells sometimes), I have been perminately weakened. Forced recovery hyped my anxiety, I'm on medication. It's hard for me to walk into a crowded mall, I panic which may seem a little crazy to you guys but i feel like everyone is always starring at me and all the lights and maniquens and just everything is too much for me. Soooooooooooooooooo yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa OH! Diet! Gluten free, Dairy free and very little meat. I eat mostly vegetables, egg whites, fruit that kind of stuff but I haven't purged in a long time. I'm afraid they'll send me back into treatment. And God knows THAT. WAS. HELL.
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