Hands

My hands are weak, the only strength that comes is the one that is forced mentally. They are weak and cold,my head is hot while they are cold. My legs will do the minimum. I am eating,I swear. So why is this happening? There is a bottle of medicine on my desk. I'm tired of the medicine that makes it more painful but eventually brings relief.
I'm thinking about my hands almost four years ago. I was about four foot something and weighed about 147LB there was a wring of fat around my wrists. I still had big,fast hands . They were good for drawing,working and dancing. But they were strong,almost stronger than my moms and stronger than both my sisters.
I'm looking at mine again now, i can feel the bones in my wrists and fingers. Even clenching my fist is strange, i would not get the same nose-breaking punch that i normally would. Normal. Normal? normal...