rants

i knock my ankles up against my desk by accendent,they are boney and hurt. I ate today. I hate it . I like feeling ,for some reason its like when i eat i am numb. I hate it. I blode and i am further away from the vision of myself that i want. Of the girl i used to be. She is dead.DO U HERE ME ?! DEAD
The girl who believed is gone,the one who thought meat was a vegtable and read constantly,the girl who followed all the rules,the quite girl,the not-completly hideous girl,the one who danced around the kitchen,the one who was afraid of roller coasters is gone. That persons been gone. She doesn't exist anymore. My 'luv' u fell in 'love' with someone completly different do u hear me?!?!? poor guy doesn't know what he's in for. My friend says i should get help. Y? i am not starving i am fat and bloating. Its easy for her,she kept it she kept the no stomach,there is nothing there for her. My body fought. I don't even know if i even HAVE  a problem,i never mentioned anything to a dr,i don't trust them.
I get to dance tomorrow.I will dance :)
i WILL be a ballerina,a swimmer,a cheerleader
i WILL keep my friend whom cares
i WILL learn the pretty languages
i will.
sigh.
i want this dog that i saw on a page for a shelter
she is beautiful,i feel like i could use my own dog,i smile whenever i walk someone elses (and i mean REALLY smile) . i know how to train a dog , i like to run and i have no problem caring for it y not? :)
lets hope the rents see it to :) haha c? im already smily just thinking about the little thing!i love animals (which i totally y i don't eat meat anymore despite my father trying to tell me that atheletes MUST eat meat) ok time to go