FUCK YOU BITCH WHEN I'M 18 I AM GONE AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN IN YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pizza offerings

mom came home with two gluten free pizzas
peace offerings
1 for each of us
even gluten free stuff makes me feel sick
it makes it hard to breath
I smiled
made them
ate 2/3 of one
all by myself
now i feel like shit

why the hell did I do that?
why did i think that would make her happy?
where we bonding?
i was miserable
i can't eat tomorrow

steps

point your feet
legs straight
core tight
and pray

Sweet Dreams

she was

gorgeous 

in every way

an anorexic dream

perfect 

little bird bones

thin

she floats

on air

her air filled with skunky smoke

even the straight girl

had a little crush

why ?

what led you 

to take

a whole bottle

do the one thing i don't have the guts to do 

of ADVIL

did you want to sleep Beautiful?

where you ready to meet your maker?

that one way pass

wasn't enough 

a hard bed

a hospital room 

girlfriend bedside

your home again

just not the one you where aiming for

how? 

why?

not why did you 

not how come

how did you find the strength to try

to leave 

why at that moment?

now i want

an Advil

Sweet Dreams Gorgeous 

So this is what it feels like?

i feel like
my heart just climbed
up to my throat
climbed
the way you climb
up a mountain
and fell
like Alice
down
down
spiral
BOOM
it hit
the floor
splattered
sank
into
my stomach
the pieces
floating
down sea
away
away
Far Away
some pieces lost
forever
well thank you
for catching it
before it fell
</3

thisfeelingiscrazyanditsback

ate to much
ate to much
ATE TOOOO MUCH!!!!
i havent
felt like this
feel the guilt
the pigishness
everything
that comes with eating
in so long

is it just me
or is this a double chin
flabby arms
monster thighs
a jello stomach

it can't be just me
it can't be
which means
back to work
back
to work
I need to win
Im getting SLOW
i look WEAK

No one is here
no one cares
no one cares about ugly people
get thin
get pretty
now or die