Sunday, January 30, 2011

Fat and Ugly

I am fat and ugly .If you saw me you'd think it but you probably wouldn't tell me. I've been told it though,enough times to know its true. Nobody looks at the fat dancer,their eyes slip over her and onto the girl next to her. Even if that girl hardly knows the steps,everyone will think she is better. Our eyes catogorize everyone we see,we don't try to but it just sort of happens. It's human nature. Cemetery.Clear skin.Thin waist.Big boobs and butt. Muscles. Pretty hair .What can i say?some of us JUST. AREN'T .
MADE. THAT .WAY!
we wish we were
we all wan't to be 'that girl' the beautiful one .
most of us denie it.I know i do,almost everyday.
sometimes i don't give a damn though,most of those girls are idiots.
they're not as sart as some of us,who have to work harder than them,same with the rich kids.
i am going to be THAT Girl which is better than That Girl,i'm gonna be that one that everyone will watch on stage and not be able to every forget. The girl with the black sweatshirt and notebooks filled with lyrics,drawing,designs and forein langouage notes?yeah thats me.the one with almost over 1000 songs on her ipod?that'd be me
I'm gonna be (and starting already) to be THAT girl.
Do i care what you think anymore?
no
I'm Echo

A Scary Reality

We are trapped.
Thats all there is to it
Dandelion can't see
She is a free spirit
spirit
but thats all
she doesn't see
how trapped
we really are
we can't leave
even i can't run
without turning back
less is more
well for us more is less
and there is always less
the scary reality is that things aren't as they seem
it makes the rents shiver,cry,speak between themselves
and then let us only here the sigh
i'm watching
they don't know
but if they see
then they don't mind because that reality
is one that affects me
my future is up to me
 reality is scary

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Citizens

they call it a 'free' country
of free is it if half the population is working without recognition?
They don't think we should be here
They have called us names and so some of use believe them
Chola
Grease
Beaner
Now we call ourselves them
Idiota
estupida
It's not easy,many of us are forced to grow up before our time.To care for babies that are not ours,to cook and clean and work so that the bills will get paid and everyone fed.
I watch my parents cry,helplessly i cry inside
as my father breaks his back and works day and night,and my mother finds work to make our future brighter
we are not laborers and we are not dumb
I have it better than most
i know and i am grateful
we have papers
i swore to myself long ago that i would educate myself so that no one in my family will have to work on someone else's terms
i am proud of who i am
my blood makes me special
my culture makes me proud
i will go and finish school
it's not right though
that two states away an officer would stop me because i am brown
would he stop a light skinned Canadian?
no,just a brown mexican american girl
who has never stepped foot out of the US
do they carry their papers ready to be stopped?
who do you find picking in the fields?
i heard on the radio about a sweep
they sent people back
their bosses sent them back so they wouldn't have to pay them
it could have been anyone
someone in search of a brighter future
they don't care
about a brown skinned girl
i am the third generation
of hard work
i am ready to make my mark on this world
and show everyone that i WILL sucseed

Delete

i deleted u
and i don't miss you
i deleted all your lies to me
all your pretty words
and all your little red hearts
i'm done looking at something
that expired so long ago
you're a liar
i trusted a snake
i played with fire
i won't say i got burned
because that would mean you left scars
i'd hoped to make a friend
instead an enemy
and disapointment
i am done
i've deleted your words
those empty,shallow,phony words
and know i done
and so are you
i deleted you
-More by Echo ,here me out people,rock on.

Dance

i dance and i feel safe
my body knows what to do
and my mind goes blank
its just the music and me
the music that is apart of me
i make my skirt float
they are my wings
it flies around me
i feel safe
safe and beautiful and at home
it doesn't matter who sees me
i want people to see me
to see the real me
the magical me
the me with butterfly wings and magic feet
dancing is in my blood and my heart
every step is a beat
a beat that i could not live without

Friday, January 21, 2011

Strong

Today i am strong enough to dance
Today i am strong enough to be more me
than yesterday
I am strong enough to move on
I am strong enough to surround myself with friends
and care
but not to  much
Today i am strong
No need to worry about tomorrow,or turn back on yesterday
I am living in the moment
and not looking back
that takes strength
Lord give me strength for tomorrow
But for now today
I am strong enough to dance
and smile
The way i think i should
today i am strong
All on my own.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

real Singers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbzEgfCwzJU



She was the most fabulous ANYBODY ever! i mean she made it in a male dominated industry and came from a lower income home!She changed the music industry!!!!! there is no real talent out there anymore .its all fake mainstream mediocur rich kids .  I want to be that real talent someday i love preforming but common even I know better then 2 mess with la reina !! :)

Monday, January 17, 2011

Mean Girl to Princess

I am mean . Its just that simple:i'm really very mean . I have one of those faces that can be sweet and clueless  and eyes that admire every word you utter or make you want to take a step back and surrender,my eyes could melt your skin if you piss me off just right .Or if i feel like being mean .I'm really mean to my family,i know this because i spend all day trying to keep from exploding on everyone i know .I smile,i laugh i complement people the works y'know ? and then by the time i'm home i explode-close to literally- i know i have to be nicer and i'm ruining my relationship with my family . They scare me though . I don't like being around them most of the time because i am their black cat, rotten moods emerge and phone calls that my parents dread come in soon everyones screaming and arguing and i leave .I've been raised to know that God id a king and my father who knows me personally . If i'm his daughter i have to act like a princess .Now keep in mind that i don't know how i feel about religion yet i've been raised strickly where religion is forced appon me and i could never leave my church till i'm 18 because my parents would never allow it . But my sister and mom and i had this big explotion and i told them they scare me,that i hate our home and that i'm going to try harder,we all are i think . I'm going to be my best princess .

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Tired

I'm tired of acting! Thats so irronic considering i AM an actress,i'm the worlds BEST actress because i'm always acting .Please,like you haven't noticed society tells us,no trains us when we're little to think the way they want us 2.Well i'm tired of bouncing up and down smiling and waving.I'm tired of always having 2 try 2 look stylish and listen 2 everybody.i  know it sounds selfish but people new things about my own schedual before i even did.Inside i want to scream 'stop it!don't touch my clothes and my hair! stop looking at me!Why am i acting like this?y do i give a damn?' and on the outside i'm smiling and hugging all of my 'best friends' ,gasping like a girly idiot and making retarded comments.Little pieces of me leak out of the cracks of my Prettypretty mask.The B**** in me wants out,because deep down i dont CARE.I don't expect any1 to care about me,i really don't so y bother pretending like you do?y do i bother?i'm just tired.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Waking up in Hell

I wake up to my sisters voice and my bedroom lights on.Do i understand what she's saying? yes. do i care?no. All i want is my sleep,deliciously earned sleep.But i climb out of bed and hug her. Its cold so i pull on my boots and climb down the stairs with her. I don't look at my dad or my little sister who is screaming at  my dad about her homework.She talks about me like i'm not there but i don't care i just stir my sandy meds in2 my tea and my older sister smiles at me.she thinks me and my meds are cute,but i think i just look like a fat-ass little druggie.I gulp it down as fast as i can so i won't have to listen 2 my little sister scream.I've woken up in hell as my daddy screams back at her and she defies all of the manners and lessons that me and Dandelion (older sis) have spent our whole lives learning .She literally roars as she calls both my parents stupid and wishes me dead,all i can do is run 2 my room.All of this because of a worksheet that she doesn't understand.I  only hope hell is quieter than this but something just says that i'm already there.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Stupid Flakes

Seriously people! leave flake as a word you put behind CORN!! i can't stand it when stupid idiot people leave in the middle of something only to give people more work .And when i say people i mean ME  which is so typical.So i'm stuck learning lines for a kiddy play that we're showing 2mrrow!!! typical me 2 say 'don'ts sweat it i got this' and 'i almost have em' o pleaze some1 say i got this! i am NOT going on stage 2mrrw looking like a bloody idiot in front of a bunch of freakin kinder gardners i'll tell you that much. Really though next time some1 wants to drop out do it at the beggining or heres a random thought (sarcasm?i think yes) DON'T SIGN UP AT ALL! at least i drop out in the beginning when i realize everyones retarded or i stick w/ it and suffer in silence.
Shut up and here me out .
-Echo

Call me Echo

If you read my other blog u probably know about me,im a teenage girl . And here is where i want y'all just 2 hear me out so heres the truth about everything that i'm NOT allowed 2 say out loud . and if you don't like it deal because i'm just trying 2 keep it real. I read in a book about a girl who changed her name when the old one didn't fit anymore. Well,i like my name its a nice name but sometimes i feel like its not me and i feel like that person they call is who they WANT and not what i am ,or very real(that and if some1 i know read this they'd make me live in a white padded room). Needless to say i'm all about keeping it real .So for my own reasons you can call me Echo Cruz .Asking if its my 'real' name is like asking if its any of your buisness ,the answer: nunya !
hear me out as i try to keep it real
-Echo Cruz