It's been forever

Whoa I guess it's been like a million years since I've posted anything. Like years. I'm a senior now and I've switched school 3 times.
I've learned that theres very few kind people out there.
The boy who I fell in love with and had a relationship to this day will not speak to me since I ran.
I still had the perfect first kiss in the world (in my opinion).
I've been with a couple different guys. So far nothing great but hey I'm just a kid.
My mom and I still don't get along perfectly. It's gotten better with therapy. I still don't see a lot of my dad and when I do it's weird and uncomfortable, he'll never understand me and I've accepted that. During the last two years my body broke down so much from my eating disorder that it hurt to walk so bad I cried, I had to stop dancing. My heart almost stopped, my stomach could had ended up perminately portruded and swollen (it still swells sometimes), I have been perminately weakened. Forced recovery hyped my anxiety, I'm on medication. It's hard for me to walk into a crowded mall, I panic which may seem a little crazy to you guys but i feel like everyone is always starring at me and all the lights and maniquens and just everything is too much for me. Soooooooooooooooooo yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa OH! Diet! Gluten free, Dairy free and very little meat. I eat mostly vegetables, egg whites, fruit that kind of stuff but I haven't purged in a long time. I'm afraid they'll send me back into treatment. And God knows THAT. WAS. HELL.