'You need an XXL"

thats what i was told when I got my HONOR ROLE tee-shirt  by the guy in front of me -__-
My heart sank a little bit because I know there are girls bigger than me, I thought we were done being called the fat girl. We? hmm its strange that just came out. We. Me and Mia. I just ate a whole thing of cookies, I haven't done that in so long.....
To top it off I just got weighed, 142.
My back injury is almost better so i can start exersizing again, I'm going to exercise and train harder than anything I've ever done. I need this so bad.
In polo
in swim
in dance
a 5'2 girl should not weight 142 , i need to weigh 130, 125,120,115,110,105,90
i will not stop.

She's ready to try and live her life, she's ready to wake up from a dream a nightmare a horror fest and realize it was just that, a dream.

I hurt my back, its out and it hurts like a mofo to sit for a long time, I'm not allowed to dance, I almost had my slits too. The lists for dance class's go up monday I'm so nervous. It's pretty competitive at my school because there are a lot of great dancers. Iwant to be the best dancer one day. Swim team ended this week but i couldn't swim because of my back. I feel sooooo fat i've been eating so much and i'm really mean because of that but sometimes i look at myself and realize I've smiled, I've laughed and thouroly enjoyed myself a little and truthfully i really need that. I'm 15 I shouldn't want to die, I shouldn't hate myself, I shouldn't be afraid. I want to swim, to DANCE, to SING, SMILE, I want to live.