rough day 2day ,everythings a little crazy with school so soon and everything. A girl whos in this church group with me and my sisters said a really nasty comment ,normaly i woulda slugged her or told her off straigh off the bat but it was about my Aunt . The aunt that lives with us,the aunt i always say that i can't stand 80% of the time ,the aunt that actually gets me ,the aunt that deep down i totally love.i swear i still wanna kick her ass. but im not allowed to kick ass in the house of god.
Earlier today i saw all the freshman class. yipee.woohoo. i. am.so.excited -______-
its not that im not ,truly im excited to be there (and not home surrounded by food) all day but theres this other girl (x bff ,if u read my earlier blog posts u noe what shes like) i cant stand her. just can't. i want to tell her off to ,i actually kinda did (in a classy not cussing way) but like a wuss she bolted . sissy. if u can dish dirt behind my back don't mind me telling you whats what to your face. idk but i still want to prove that im not a 'talentless fatass' even if the fatass part is true . so my freshman year goal is to loose 30lb and keep it off.
As for the boy shes friends with him and waaaay to many face book tags tell me that shes trying to dig her b*tchy little claws into him (he used to be into her) that makes me want to cheerfully squeeze her like a bug. :D <----that would b me,riiiiight there. Seriously what kind of person uses 'Totes' ?TOTES . The same one that uses toodles and tries to reanact the pretty commitie from the clique books into her real f'n life. (acording to her,i'd be dylan,notice its the 1 w/ a weight prob) . I hate this. when do they realize that you are the 1 that is totally good for them ?!?! I am damn it!
He's also sending mixed signals ,we skype and IM a lot and stuff and i really don't like that he still totally flirts when he knows that i'm majorly crushing on him (not that i mind the actual flirting most of the time) .o well i'll end up the 30 yr old single chick thts way 2 into music ,i just noe it.
Dr's are doing a test friday ,checking out the organs and seeing if they even work. i really hate it cause when they don't work right they mess everything else up like my skin and my nails (flimsy nails and really gross acne that is JUST NOT NORMAL!!!) . I went shopping with my mom . I hate it when she yells YOU NEED A LARGE or something along those lines . Its so imbarrising . ok i get it . you have a fat daughter lets go now. I jsut hate it mostly because i know what its like when shes proud of my size , when i was slim and stylish . I'm her barbie doll ,what ever she'd wear she usually buys for me ,but she was skinny so i know deep down,even when she says that my size is fine she knows its not small or pretty. Shes my MOM for crying out loud she lied to me about being overweight practically my whole childhood! and i believed her . I have to remember not to believe her , i'm done being the fat girl.
Sorry for the long post and for babbling so much ,guess it comes with being a teanager XP
XOXO besO's to you all!!!!let you know how it all goes w/ dr.useless
stay skinny!!
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