so i thought id try the skinny girl diet (those of u who r doing it ur blog name has skipped my mind and flew out the window please forgive me) but i can't. i CAN'T.why can't i ? because if i try to eat then i will eat everything so i must eat nothing . It is as simple as that. I ate like a 'normal' person again today,when for a run/walk with my doggie (love the booger <3 ) . I am terrified of food . Whats worse is that my little sister actually looks up to me in the beauty and fitness department. Ouch . I don't want her to end up like me,truly my sisters are not what i want for an ED buddy . She's gorgeous no joke . 5'4-ish size 1-2 (depending on the place) long thick hair,big eyes,perfect skin . And she thinks she's ugly. I don't want her to copy me or try to be like me because no one should want to be like me . I'm kinda looking forward to therapy. If my mom even gives enough of a damn to still care and get me the help . Go flip'n figure. Just like her to be all' woopT doo see how much i care , look how i'm harrasing you about everything and suffercating your life just so everyone thinks i give a damn?' yea well J cares . I think she does . I don't have to worry about anyone else as long as i know why i'm facing my fear. But i remember something, when fear strikes change what your doing. What am i doing ...eating. change it .
Omagosh on the up i was IMing an.... old friend (: he and i haven't talked for a while so it was nice to know that we're becoming friends again only down is that he's moving this summer :( and not going to the same high school as me double :(( . his best friend is though (he's a sweet<3 i like talking to him ) . o how he makes me laugh maybe somethiing will happen maybe i'll be brave enough to make something happen we'll see pray for my spinning head and broken heart dragonflies much love
-Echo Cruz
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