So i'm working getting over binging and depression. I started watching pretty little liars which helped, i mean i used to watch the Clique constantly for insperation. I mean appearance meant next to everything to me before. What happened?
So i gave myself a mani pedi ,got a gym pass and started wearing clothes that fit right (i used to dress baggy). And the results: i feel..good . Besides the fact that getting over binging is hard for me, i talked to a different friend and she's worried but she's also really tough (kinda like me i guess,we come off that way) so its inspiring. It's also really nice to know i'm not alone,i love all of your comments and blogs they are so fabulous and so are their authors :)
Sigh , i just have to remember, baby steps .
Yesterday i had to turn down a totally nice guy, he's so sweet and nice but i just don't see it and i don't want a relationship so why wast the poor guy's time? Besides he won't even be going to my high school so no point really,but still i feel SO BAD . He called me pretty (he said my face &eyes were and i was worth look'n at) no he called me BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING . I am not either of those,he doesn't know that no matter who tells me that,no matter what anyone does i will never believe them. He'd even ask my 'why do u think i'm joking?' Um hello I'm bloody mental!!! what am i supposed to say to that anyways? o thanks for saying that but i will never believe you because of my 'disordered' mind and 'eating disorder' . yeeeaaa no. There are two guys who know about this , one is my best friend and the other is (also my best friend) a guy i have a (kinda) crush on but he cuts so he gets it . I'm doing better today i even helped cook dinner (GASP!) my hand trembled but its a start and i'm proud of myself. Now to actually eat some ,wish me luck all you dragonflies -echo
had ice cream (ben & jerrys yikes ! but im on the time of the month) so fasting tomorrow luv u all!
Good job that's really good your self esteem is going up I were baggy clothes to sometimes n Its hard to find things. I like but its good you are also cooking doesn't scare me it the eating part I cook all the time weird iknow but it really does calm me. Too bad about the cute guy. I think its harder when ppl know I mean I have a few friends that know but I regret telling them I mean I just get sick with all the anxiety it brings but whatever works for you as the whole binging thing gosh I do hate when you get into a rut where you just binge an u can't seem too stop its really good you decided to over come it as the depression also I hate that too! I struggle with it like crazy I hope you don't struggle with it as much as I do because. I know how much it sucks anyways strong hun your doing great(:! xo brittney
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